Why Shame Must Change Sides

The Academy of Everything (TAOE), founded by my friend Jaime Bautista, is a London based artistic expression and underground community. Jaime invited me to share my work recently, which launch my thoughts on CPTSD, Trauma, The Sacred Victims Journey into the stratosphere.

Years ago, I volunteered for SMart Network (also founded by Jaime), a project uplifting marginalised people, abuse survivors, those with disabilities, and others carrying invisible pain, by reminding them they were humans worthy of the title artist, worthy of dignity, despite their circumstances.

But deep down, I felt more like a client than a volunteer.

I am a high-functioning CPTSD survivor. With over 20 years' psychological abuse at the hands of the Jehovahs Witnesses cult; a known pedophile ring and glorified publishing company masquerading as a "religion" that brainwashes fearful people with armageddon indoctrination.

The JW sophisticated mind-control tactics were studied and employed by the marketing and PR departments behind the COVID campaign. To be sure, a cult that can control millions without gates and fences, that is a gold mine, right?

After I escaped that quagmire, I had to endure years of indoctrinated self-blame, masking, distorted reality and try to bend and shape myself into this world I was only taught to fear. All this shaped me into someone competent on the outside but shattered on the inside. And now, the shell shock reverberates as these stories... that refuse to stay silent.

If you’re high-functioning and living with invisible scars too, stand up. You’re not just surviving. You are courageous. You are a lineage breaker.

Here’s the truth: Society shames victims and excuses and protects perpetrators.

I have so much to say about this.

We treat abused dogs with dignity, care, and love, never blaming the dog. But when humans are abused, we call them weak, “playing the victim,” or tell them to be silent.

That will end. Complex trauma... CPTSD... happens when someone with power repeatedly harms someone vulnerable. It creates lifelong emotional confusion, fear, and survival identities. These complications are blamed on the victim, while perpetrators walk free, untouchable.

Who does our silence serve?

Perpetrators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How clever of them to make us embarrassed about what they did to us.

Disgusting (puke) and it makes my blood boil that they can smugly sit in ivory towers....

I'm taking those towers down with my claws and teeth, the pent up rage inside of me heaped upon me by that cult will purge itself back onto them and is released on them now.

CPTSD is barely understood, barely recognised, and often dismissed.

Survivors numb themselves for years, first from the pain, then from the internalised shame and confusion, then from society’s stupid ignorance.

But we are done being silent.

This video is me roaring.

As Giselle Pelicot the hero of our time said: “Shame must change sides.”

Victims need recognition, pathways to heal, and public understanding. I am part of the cohort using and sharing my story to help us create new vocabulary, soundbites and healing pathway programs for survivors.